He Does It Again

Posted by Kate Olson on May 13th, 2008

My little (by 20 months) brother has always been just a bit shinier and successful than I (in my opinion) and seems to have luck and success fall in his lap no matter which way he turns. This isn’t going to be a tribute to the All Mighty One, but I just had to share 2 things:

1) He claims that my new plans of working from home will make me weird - while dealing with all of the other upheaval that my new career decision has caused, THIS is what stands out and has me worried. No, I’m not worried about being weird, since I’m fairly certain I’m already there (and those 2 years of staying home with kids will do that to the best of us) but I do need to work out how I’m going to manage my time and maintain human connections while working strictly from home while living 30 minutes from the nearest coffee shop.

2) He’s working on his Ph.D. at Duke right now and shared the Duke commencement address that Barbara Kingsolver gave this weekend. I absolutely love this and wish I could have heard her actually SAY these words, but the transcript was powerful enough. Read it, please! I’m printing it out to read and re-read. This particular quote especially resonated today, given my current ponderings about working from home:

“Not necessarily. As you leave here, remember what you loved most in this place. Not Orgo 2, I’m guessing, or the crazed squirrels or even the bulk cereal in the Freshman Marketplace. I mean the way you lived, in close and continuous contact. This is an ancient human social construct that once was common in this land. We called it a community. We lived among our villagers, depending on them for what we needed. If we had a problem, we did not discuss it over the phone with someone in Bubaneshwar. We went to a neighbor. We acquired food from farmers. We listened to music in groups, in churches or on front porches. We danced. We participated. Even when there was no money in it. Community is our native state. You play hardest for a hometown crowd. You become your best self. You know joy. This is not a guess, there is evidence. The scholars who study social well-being can put it on charts and graphs. In the last 30 years our material wealth has increased in this country, but our self-described happiness has steadily declined. Elsewhere, the people who consider themselves very happy are not in the very poorest nations, as you might guess, nor in the very richest. The winners are Mexico, Ireland, Puerto Rico, the kinds of places we identify with extended family, noisy villages, a lot of dancing. The happiest people are the ones with the most community.”

- Barbara Kingsolver - Duke commencement address May 2008

So, even though I haven’t talked to my younger, shinier, cooler brother in a while, he’s constantly pushing me to think harder and deeper. For the record, though, my dog is bigger than his dog - that’s all I got.

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Linda said,

May 13, 2008 @ 8:55 am

Kate,
Thank you for sharing this wonderful speech. I agree with her sentiments of community. I also know if you had not posted this from Wisconsin, I would not have had this moment to nod and smile in New York. Again, thanks. Linda

Lindas last blog post..Bullied then, successful now.

Chad L. said,

May 13, 2008 @ 8:56 am

Wow Kate. I may have to take a peek at that speech. It does make a lot of sense, though. I think about the friends I have and just getting together is great. We have a group of neighborhood friends and I really look forward to getting together with them more than I do a lot of things in life. However, I do think that some of these relationships can be built via Twitter, Skype, and other online communities. I’ve become, what I feel, pretty good friends with someone I met on Twitter. We’ve chatted via video Skype several times, our kids have chatted as well. She even commented the other day that it was weird not touching base with me in a few days - and I felt the same way. I don’t want to lose the point of the quote you listed, it is important to have those personal contacts, but I believe you can also have online ones as well.

Chad L.s last blog post..Finally, Someone has Tagged Me!

Stuart Ciske said,

May 13, 2008 @ 9:00 am

Hey KateSays - the url in your post that goes to the text now has a link to the audio version in iTunes!

Yes, A great speech and I too thoughthe above passage was interesting. I find it interesting we seek community in the solitary world of our technology, cubicle walls, homes, etc….

Maybe you need to open a Mom and Kid daycare whenre you can have kids and moms come over to commune!

SJC

Stuart Ciskes last blog post..Your Ideas for EdWeek’s "Technology Counts" 2009

Cody said,

May 13, 2008 @ 9:23 am

Your blog is better than his, oh wait I never read his blog.

Wow, great post and as much as I don’t want to READ a commencement, now I have to. That’s incredible.

Can we do it digitally or are the two completely contradictory?

Do/Can Blogs replace some of that lost community in a higher tech and farther reaching way?

I got dibs on that blog post…. Hands off?!?!? Just kidding!

I just reread this comment before posting and it’s possible I hit the coffee a little hard this morning.

Codys last blog post..George F. Will leads the Codytalks.com debate on Presidential Candidates.

Cody said,

May 13, 2008 @ 9:27 am

Hey the speech is on itunes, just click link in Kate’s post here and there is a link to itunes. I don’t have to read it, yeah…

See.. Digital Community!!!!

Codys last blog post..George F. Will leads the Codytalks.com debate on Presidential Candidates.

Michelle said,

May 13, 2008 @ 9:32 am

Wow, that’s some quote. Resonates with me as well. There’s just something about the community where we live that virtual communities can’t replace. There’s that extra connection. These are your family, friends, and neighbors. That’s why I keep fighting to keep Coulee Region Online going, despite having only a handful of users after all this time. I’ve been on the internet for 15 years and it’s wonderful chatting with people from all over the world but I still miss that localness, that community of people close to me, from the old time BBSs that the internet never replaced. And so I keep trying to recreate it in my little local strand of the web.

Michelle

Kate said,

May 13, 2008 @ 11:24 am

@Linda - and that’s the glory of our online community! I’m trying to figure out how to balance on- and off-line communities, I have to ponder on that for awhile.

@Chad - excellent points & I agree about your take on online community. However, I have found that not having an easily accessible physical community close by to where I live has been detrimental as I try to form relationships for playdates and casual get-togethers, but we chose to live where we do now and just have to figure out how to make our OWN community. I guess it’s the same as what farm families have always dealt with, though…

@Cody - Ok, that’s your assignment - you claimed it, so get writing - I’ll be waiting! Re: reading a commencement address, now you don’t have to, but this was one of the only ones worth actually taking the time for :-)

@Stuart - Thanks for letting me know about the itunes link and if I could find anyone willing to drive to my house to play they’d be invited in a second - when I tell people where I am, they usually say, “oh”, then ask if I chose to live where I do or if I have to. Ah, the ignorance about the joys (sometimes hard to find, but there nonetheless) of rural life!

@Michelle - Thanks for your thoughts on on- vs off-line communities, I agree that there’s something special about face-to-face interaction that just can’t be replaced totally. I think I remember reading that you’re active in the La Crosse Moms club, I’d love to hear more about it sometime - maybe you could get me an “in” with the group? Your Coulee Region Online site is great and hopefully time will prove that it’s valuable to a larger audience - I’ll do what I can to help promote it :-)

Jon Becker said,

May 13, 2008 @ 11:36 am

Kate, it seems you and others are thinking in zero-sum terms (i.e. a balance). I wrote about this (in a peer-reviewed journal) a few years ago, and cited work by Etzioni & Etzioni (THE scholars on “communit”) where they wrote, Communities that utilize hybrid systems ‘would be able to bond better and share values more effectively than communities that rely upon only one or the other mode of communication’ (p. 247). In other words, the most “ideal” communities will be ones that incorporate f-2-f time and computer-mediated communications (CMC). I think that’s really important for school people to understand. If a sense of community is important (which it should be), how can you/we add CMC to complement our f-2-f work? I’m trying to get that done in my own department. We see our students in classes, we have Blackboard site for each class, we send out mass e-mails…but none of those create community. I want our students and faculty to engage f-2-f more and to use CMC to support those interactions.

Jon Beckers last blog post..Disruptive Innovation and Schooling

Cody said,

May 13, 2008 @ 12:49 pm

Jon,

Please don’t take this wrong at all, but…

My head is spinning, am I out of my league on this blog or did you just completely invent a language on the fly in that comment?

Codys last blog post..George F. Will leads the Codytalks.com debate on Presidential Candidates.

Jon Becker said,

May 13, 2008 @ 12:55 pm

I’ve been known to be inventive in my language, but I don’t think I’ve ever invented a whole language before. Maybe I could translate? What did I not state clearly?

Jon Beckers last blog post..Disruptive Innovation and Schooling

Michelle said,

May 13, 2008 @ 1:16 pm

Cody: Don’t feel bad. Took a second read for me as well before I got it. :)

Kate: Aww, thanks. :) I’m sure you have your hands full promoting your own sites. If you happen to know someone you think might be interested, I wouldn’t mind a mention, but I don’t expect more than that.

About MOMS Club. I’m in the Holmen / GET chapter. You’re not far out of Holmen, if I remember right, but the head club is ridiculously particular about borders so I don’t know if you’d be considered close enough. I can tell you what I think of their policies sometime if you want an ear full. ;) If you are interested in joining I can talk to the membership VP and find out exactly what the border of our chapter is. You sound like you’d have a hard time finding the time to get to events with your busy schedule but, still, it can be nice to be a member just to have the network of other moms.

Michelle

Cody said,

May 13, 2008 @ 1:51 pm

Really I just wasn’t ready for it. Totally me just not getting it.

You want f2f backed up by CMC right?

Codys last blog post..George F. Will leads the Codytalks.com debate on Presidential Candidates.

Louise Maine said,

May 13, 2008 @ 2:07 pm

Kate - thanks for this! If you remember, I live very rural, with fruit trees, a barn of animals, and plans laid out for the big ole’ garden on the summer (ooh- will also start aquaponics for the winter). I would not trade it for the world. I am not very materialistic - I do love gadgets - but don’t have to have all the tech stuff. I would not trade rural life for the world (though gas prices hits us much more). One of these days I will have the guts to make that big change and do something else. I am working on it. I could do a virtual class at this point.

As for the brother, times change. I was the brighter and the shinier. He moved far away. As you get older, you get embroiled in all the stuff that happens in families and those that live closest get taken advantage of. He can now do no wrong and I bear the brunt. But that happens in communities and it will probably swing back again.

Anyway, waxing sentimental but that came from the address. Time to do something about what I think!

Louise Maines last blog post..Creating technology toolbelts…

Kate said,

May 13, 2008 @ 2:44 pm

@Jon & Cody - I’ll let you guys work out the comprehension/language deal :-)

@Michelle - ah yes, now I remember from back when my daughter was born - no Moms Club will claim me. Oh well, I guess we’ll just have to make our own friends! Thanks for the offer, though.

@Louise - Us rural ladies have to stick together! As for my brother, I love him dearly and we’ve always been close. I just never tire of pointing out his way of gliding through this world with the greatest of ease :-)

Jon Becker said,

May 13, 2008 @ 3:21 pm

@Cody - yes. In my (probably unnecessarily cryptic) language, I was responding to language such as “we seek community in the solitary world of our technology, cubicle walls, homes, etc…” and “…virtual communities can’t replace.” I see computer-mediated forms of communications as additive and/or complimentary to our face-to-face communities. In any given instance, the percentage of time spent communing online and f-2-f will vary. So, for instance, when I go to NECC, I will have lots of quality f-2-f time with folks who I mostly commune with online. On the other end of the spectrum, my neighborhood association is adding a discussion board to our community website. We all invite each other into our homes, play in the streets together, have parties, etc. Now we’re adding a form of CMC to strengthen our community.

Mostly, though, I think I was turned off by Kingsolver’s address. The part that Kate quotes ends with “The happiest people are the ones with the most community.” Agreed, but it appears that Kingsolver has a very narrow sense of community.

Jon Beckers last blog post..Disruptive Innovation and Schooling

Tim '@Twalk' Walker said,

May 13, 2008 @ 3:32 pm

1. I ask this for information, not rhetorically: Does your brother have a career - or family life - similar to yours? Or, to put it another way: besides being “shinier,” what particularly qualifies him to comment on your career move? I’m not asking this to be tendentious, I just wonder what his qualifications are. (And, okay, I wonder how much extra consideration you’re giving to his view above your own judgment.)

2. To my mind, your career shift will be a chance for you to TEST how well social media can supplement face-to-face experiences for a working professional. And - not that you don’t already know this - many freelancers and the like swear by blogs / Twitter / etc. for keeping them connected even when they’re working from an empty house all day.

Cody said,

May 14, 2008 @ 8:09 am

Jon,

I am tracking with you 100% now and fully backing the idea. I also agree with you on the commencement speech. I think she has a somewhat narrow view as well.

sidenote: I read the speech and then listened to it…..

This is weird but I loved it when I read it and was way less impressed when I listened to it…

Analyze that…..

Codys last blog post..My Daughter and The Love of the Game.