A Letter To My Future Self

I’ve seen posts like this a thousand times. I think I even remember writing one when I was in school. But I am at a time in my life where I want to look back and remember what it was like to be a stay-at-home mom to two small children. To remember this overwhelming feeling of being needed. By EVERYONE.

While my threenager is tugging on my shirt, pitching a fit for whatever reason it is this time. Or while my now 7-month-old is screaming (because she is just totally obsessed with her own voice) in her jumparoo. I want to remember how stressful and completely exhausting it is to be surrounded by children 24/7.

I want to remember how my poor husband must feel neglected because I just can’t possibly do anything besides sit in peace once the kids are in bed. I want to remember the feeling of defeat as I look around my house and see the monstrosity of a mess that my 3-year-old can make. SO. DAMN. FAST.  I want to remember the mountain of laundry. And the dishes that need to be washed and put away.

I want to remember all of it. And then I want to remember how I conquered it. I want to remember how I won at life. Not that that has happened or anything…I mean this is a letter to my FUTURE self. Hopefully, one day it’ll happen. But until then, I want to remember all of the good and bad times….

So here it goes.

dear future me

Dear Future Katy, 

First of all, I hope that you still enjoy everything about Brabbly and that it never grows old, because seriously, it’s awesome and hilarious.  I hope that this blog has become everything you wanted it to be and more. And please, for the love of Pete, never change the name! It still makes me giggle and we’re going on week 3. This is a huge deal since I change my mind about everything. Like at least twice. 

Now on to the good stuff…I hope that you have learned to enjoy life again. I hope that by now you have kicked depression’s ass and have not taken a single moment since then, for granted. I hope that even on your darkest of days, that you are able to look back at this life and think of nothing but pure joy. I hope that you have lived life to the fullest and never had any regrets about it. 

I hope that you have learned to juggle the tasks of everyday life and no longer get overwhelmed. I hope you finally settled the argument with Angie about the best bra for large breasts. I also hope that you have learned to set a timer for the washing machine and stopped rewashing the same batch of clothes for days. Or at the very least, I hope that they have invented the washer/dryer combination, by now.  A folder and put-er away-er would be nice too, but I’m not holding my breath… 

I hope that you have learned patience and how to deal with the every day melt-downs. I hope that you have found time for both of the girls to have your undivided attention. I hope that you were able to look past the mess and got on the floor and played with them more. I hope that you have learned to enjoy how energetic and free-spirited Brylee is, she is so outgoing and has the most beautiful soul. Please never take that away from her. I hope that you have learned to enjoy how shy and laidback Ella is because she is the sweetest baby girl and she truly loves her momma. Do you remember when she didn’t want to be with anyone but you? I’m sure she has blossomed into a social butterfly like her sissy, by now. I hope that you have encouraged them to be whatever their hearts desired and that you were their biggest supporter. I hope that you became a mom that you are proud of. The mom that you have always longed to be. 

I hope that you learned to be a better wife, to your amazing husband. I hope that you have never taken him for granted and that you have always appreciated everything he has done for your family. I hope that ya’ll went on more dates. I hope that ya’ll got more time to yourselves. I hope that ya’ll are still able to laugh together and that your love for him has only grown stronger. He has always been the best thing to ever happen to you and your number one supporter. He loved you when you couldn’t even love yourself and he stuck with you through your darkest times. So be good to him, because that man is the reason you are still here. 

Most of all, I hope that you have become someone that YOU are proud of. Being a stay-at-home-mom is rewarding and an absolute blessing, but there was a time when you wanted to be more. When you wanted to be something in addition to being just a mom and a wife. I hope that you have figured out your calling and that you never gave up until you reached your goal. Whatever that may have been. I hope that you have become someone that I could be proud of, but most importantly, someone that your girls could look up to.

Present Time Kate

P.S. If the zombie apocalypse has begun, I hope that you have become the girl version of Daryl Dixon. J.S.S.

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